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Goodbyes make you think. They make you realize what you’ve had, what you’ve lost, and what you’ve taken for granted.” -Ritu Ghatourey It's been almost three weeks since I said goodbye to The Best Dog Ever: my Sparta. At 13, I had to accept the fact that she wasn't just having troubles getting up this morning...it had become every morning. Her eyesight was almost gone due to cataracts. She was slow and lumbering for the last few years, but it wasn't until I realized she wasn't joining me in my office for our "morning dog training meetings" that I understood. It was time. See, the morning meetings were always the same, and Sparta thrived on patterns, predictability, and routine. Some dogs like chaos (Ellis), but Sparta would get thrown out of whack for a bit if we deviated our schedule, which involved waking at about 5:30, and then spending a few hours in my office catching up on emails, blog posts and general miscellanea. All the animals knew the routine, and it wasn't too long before my foster fail, Ellis, even caught on: we chill in mom's office until she's done with her morning work. I think this was always Sparta's favorite time of the day, because she also loved calmness. She loved that I had the fireplace going to heat up the office, and would lounge in front of its heat, letting old bones warm up to their useful state again. But the fire was taking longer to do its job. Also, prior to "committing" to staying in the office for a few hours, I would usually be running up and down our steps between the kitchen and my office, getting coffee, feeding cats, forgetting something...and usually the dogs would all follow me, like a mother duck and her ducklings, up and down the steps, until I finally settled into the office. Only over the past year, she waited at the bottom of the steps until I was firmly committed to settling in my office. Because while she loved office time, she knew that I only went in there once a day, and when I was done, I was done. So she didn't want to miss it, but her legs didn't want to endure the up-and-down routine of the steps. Who could blame her? Then one day, she didn't want to come up. I called her upstairs to let her know I was settled, but she stayed on the first floor on her bed. And for a dog who answered every command with "Sir, yes sir!", that was strange. So I let her stay downstairs and held my meetings. She would still occasionally join our meetings, but it wasn't always a guarantee anymore. I don't remember the last time she joined a meeting. Life is funny like that. I didn't know at the time when her last meeting was. I didn't know at the time I was playing rope toy with her. Someone once said there is a time you will pick up your child for the very last time, just a minor thing at the moment, something you don't even realize is happening for the last time. Perhaps that's a good thing, not have boxes checked: last walk, last trip to the park, last Kong, last ear scratch. So in a way, maybe it's merciful not to know. But for some reason, I feel cheated by not knowing it would be her last morning meeting in my office. I'm not ignorant, and I don't hide from the plain truth right before my eyes. I don't rail against reality: I knew this day was coming. I've written numerous blog posts about paying attention to what your older dogs may be trying to tell you: aching bones, loss of sight, or maybe just playing a few less rounds of fetch than usual. Our dogs are speaking to us, only they use something more succinct than mere words. Words are vulgar and brash, and easily strewn about. Dogs don't say, "I love you", they show you. Dogs are the physical embodiment of pure communication. And Sparta had be communicating with me for a long time now, slowly saying her goodbye. I think she knew the last time she was playing rope toy. The last time we worked on scent detection. She knew the last time she'd get a Kong. And I think she knew the last time she would make that long, now painful, journey up the steps to my office. Dogs aren't afraid of age. Not really. They don't rail against it, gnashing their teeth against the unfairness of it all. I've never seen a graying dog feel sorry for aging, nor for it's "lost youth". They accept these things, and realize they are just part of the journey. They see where they are in their journey, and walk it patiently, forgiving us for our desire to hold on to whatever part of the road we deemed the best, rather than moving forward. No, dogs are too pure for that. They patiently nod their gray, grizzled muzzles in acceptance of their fate, and tick off their boxes of "lasts". Last car ride. Last treat. Last hug. Last look. Last heart beat. Lasting peace. Dog Training vs. Dog Life By focusing on dog life, rather than dog training, our goals can become so much more attainable and clear-cut. Most of us don't want an obedient dog, we just don't want a dis-obedient dog. Robot-style dogs who are afraid of stepping out of line are for certain types of people I guess. But that's not my style. That's why I developed the Piloting method of dog training over 20 years ago, a force-free method of dog training and puppy training that didn't rely on abusive shock collars or cruel prong collars, yet didn't constantly bribe with non-stop click-n-treat style dog training. I want a bond with my dog based on trust and communication. Learn more about our Piloting method of dog and puppy training here. Find out more about our private in home 30 Day Best Dog Ever and 30 Day Best Puppy Ever training packages here. Have questions about our puppy training or dog training? Kerry Stack Darwin Dogs Dog Training and Puppy Training Greater Cleveland Area Northeast Ohio

Do you trust me? - Aladdin You did it. After some research to into how to find a good match for you and your family, you adopted/rescued your new family member. Congratulations! But...now what? Well, that depends. As you may know, I recently foster-failed a pit bull named Ellis. He had been found wandering the streets of Cleveland, brought to a local shelter, where I had been asked to help with another dog. I offered to foster Ellis for two weeks in order to polish him up so as to help him get a home. He had already been at the shelter for 6 months, which for a young dog like Ellis (who was estimated at just under a year), that's a bit over forever. Well, two weeks morphed very quickly into forever, and I'm forever grateful this little lunatic came into my life. He's helped me reaffirm certain aspects of the PAW Method I developed for training dogs, and has helped me redefine others. One thing that was made quite obvious from the beginning was the difference between love and trust, and how that enters into training. Ellis absolutely loved us all from the very beginning. It's just who he is: he loves everyone, and that's something I adore about him. But trust was a completely different matter. For example, it took only about an hour in our house for Ellis to determine that we weren't going to hurt him immediately, but he was extremely jumpy with new behaviors, or if you hovered over him while, say, trying to fix his leash. He was definitely not aggressive per se, but he was very easily startled. He acted like unpopped popcorn. You can nuke yourself a bag in the microwave, wait for the popping to stop, and just when you think it's safe, you open the bag and that one unpopped kernel explodes and hits you square in the eyeball. I was constantly in fear of Ellis' head ramming my upper teeth into my lower lip as he headbutted me. So he loved us, he just didn't quite trust our actions yet. Especially what I call Stupid Human Actions. Dogs don't hover over other dogs, it's considered aggressive. As is staring at them in the face. And dog definitely don't hug each other. So all of these things were crazy to him, and a complete culture shock. He definitely needed to decompress first, and just frankly get used to How Humans Move. So for the first few weeks I had him, we didn't work on any commands really. I limited my interactions with him to giving him calm positives and gentle negatives. Ellis: May I go into the study? Me: No, Ellis, that's off limits. Only I didn't use words, I used his language: body language, as outlined here. Ellis: May I please come up on the couch? Me: Sure, c'mon up! Ellis: Should I be calm on the couch with you? Me: Yes. Good job, Ellis. It was imperative that the positives I gave him didn't rile him up, but still marked his behavior as a positive. Calm was good. In these instances, I channel my inner Farmer from Babe. So simple sets of Q&A with calm, gentle answers. Of course I never put him into a scenario where my answers needed to be more firm. He had restricted access to the house. Toys and food weren't left around, and the cats more or less vacated the premises when he was around, so I didn't have to answer big questions about the Ouch Kitties with the Murder Mittens. Once Ellis learned that yes, I do give answers, but they never involved pain or fear, we could move on to bigger things, such as teaching him that the person at the door was none of his business (learn how here). Yes, much firmer body language was involved, but didn't come at the cost of causing him anxiety. So his bigger questions involved bigger answers, but never violence or pain. Now he was starting to trust me a little more. Time to add even more stimuli. The biggest problem I was having with him was energy. He actually walked very well from the beginning (see here how I taught him), but the walk will only get you so far with a dog that's under a year and full of energy. He needed more. He was still flighty, so treadmill training was a point far off in the horizon, but that was okay. I knew just what to do. Put a backpack on him (learn about it here)! Problem was, he was too high energy to stop dancing around every time I tried to put it on, but he needed it on to get his energy out. It was like trying to saddle a bronco after the gate had already been pulled This was going to require a lot of patience. I needed to desensitize him to some of the weirder human things we do, and to get him to trust me that it was okay. But let's face it, why should he trust me? Let's put it like this: I love my two kids, but I don't trust them to drive a car. So while the love part was easy with Ellis, the trust part was going to take a little bit of work. So we started slowly with what could potentially be a very frustrating process. And yes, I used a lot of Piloting, constantly controlling the situation before adding more stimulation. Fortunately, Ellis can be rewarded with treats, praise or play. For this, I chose treats. I would place a pile of treats on the table, and every time he remained calm while I fiddled with the backpack in any capacity, he got a positive/treat. At first, it was just putting his head through the collar of the backpack = treat. After our first session, I was able to place his head through the collar (treat) and the pack on his back (treat), but heaven forbid I try to snap any of the three fasteners. But the object of this was to solve the problem, not to solve the problem immediately. He didn't trust what I was doing, and that was fine. You can't make trust happen. Anyway, the goal was progress, not perfection, so we kept at it. After about 5 days, he accepted our baby steps, and that was that. No more bronco. Nowadays, all I have to do is hold up the backpack and he thrusts his head through the collar and stands patiently while I snap everything in place. You can read about a similar approach used when cutting a dog's nails here. Yes, Ellis had loved me from the beginning, but now he was really starting to trust me. After all, in his mind, I hadn't beaten/electrocuted/prong-collared him yet, so it was unlikely I was going to do anything drastic now. But there's another aspect to trust: trust that someone is looking out for you. That's where the Piloting comes in. Remember when Ellis and I were working on answering the door? He had plenty of questions: - Who's there? None of your business, Ellis. - Are they going to hurt us? No. I would never let you get hurt. And just like every other negative I give, I followed through on my answers until he accepted them. And guess what? Nobody died. Nobody got hurt. And the whole thing was pretty anti-climatic. Which is a good thing. The more I answered the door (and answered his questions in the process), the more he trusted me to handle the situation, until he actively started looking to me to see how he should react. And that was the sweet spot. He finally trusted me. He no longer needed to be autonomous and look out for himself. He had a Pilot to help him navigate the human world. He was trusting me, and he was calming down dramatically. It was at this point, when I had earned his trust, that I was able to start teaching him the mandatory commands: sit, stay, come and "place". If I had started when he was still wary of me, it would have led to frustration for all of us. Yes, he did pick up some words and routines on his own at this time ("ball" and "go for a walk" being the biggest), but I didn't have to give him a command that he didn't trust me enough to follow through on. If he's still a bit too jumpy to get too close, why would I try working on the "come" command with him at that time? By waiting a week or so, we hit our groove, and most of these commands worked themselves out. We polished up what needed to be fine tuned, and we were good to go within a month. Completely well-mannered on a leash, excellent recall, and sit and stay commands right where they needed to be. All without frustration. Now, I needed to take the scenic route with Ellis because he was so skittish (and full of youthful energy, to boot). Not every dog takes so long. Some take only a few hours, or a day at most, to trust you. Some dogs may take even longer than Ellis did, especially dogs from abusive situations or puppy mills. So don't have a time frame; have an end goal. Keep walking, slowly, towards that goal, because the trust you earn from your dog will be worth it. Dog Training vs. Dog Life By focusing on dog life, rather than dog training, our goals can become so much more attainable and clear-cut. Most of us don't want an obedient dog, we just don't want a dis-obedient dog. Robot-style dogs who are afraid of stepping out of line are for certain types of people I guess. But that's not my style. That's why I developed the Piloting method of dog training over 20 years ago, a force-free method of dog training and puppy training that didn't rely on abusive shock collars or cruel prong collars, yet didn't constantly bribe with non-stop click-n-treat style dog training. I want a bond with my dog based on trust and communication. Learn more about our Piloting method of dog and puppy training here. Find out more about our private in home 30 Day Best Dog Ever and 30 Day Best Puppy Ever training packages here. Have questions about our puppy training or dog training? Kerry Stack Darwin Dogs Dog Training and Puppy Training Greater Cleveland Area Northeast Ohio

The young man knows the rules, but the old man knows the exceptions. - Oliver Wendell Holmes, Sr. “Is it okay that my dog is on the couch?” “Can we play tug with a rope toy? Or is that wrong?” “We’re using puppy pads.  Is that bad?” Questions like these from my clients make me crazy.  No, not because they are asking me questions, but because somehow they got it in their head that there are hard and fast rules to “dogging”.  They get a dog, and the first thing they want to know is what the rules are.  All. The. Rules. Because obviously, if something isn’t complicated and supremely structured, it doesn’t work. The more rules, the better you’re doing, right?  After all, it’s been working for the DMV. So obviously, rules suck.  Unless you’re a dog owner, and then you want the rules.  All the rules.  Well, you want ‘em?  You got ‘em. Before I tell you the rules, let’s review the steps to working with a dog, in any capacity.  Whether stopping the barking, teaching them to sit, or maybe something a little more intricate. Everything starts with these steps: 1) Control Yourself. Controlling yourself means you are calm (even if only on the outside).  You are using confident body language (stand up straight!).  You are not yelling, or even talking. 2) Control the Situation. Meaning if you can’t stuff 10 pounds of dirt in a 5 pound bag, why are you trying to stuff 15?  Stop, take a look at the current situation.  For example, if someone is at the door, but your dog is there barking, jumping, and, well, being as hyped up as a hummingbird on coke, do you have control of the situation?  No!  Then don’t add any stimulation (such as opening the door) until you have control. Answer your dog’s question about the door, and then move forward when you have control. Reboot if necessary.  Wash, rinse, repeat. Okay, now that you know the playing field (controlling yourself and controlling the situation), now for the rules. I use a mix of negative and positive.  The same way you do throughout your life.  I asked my husband it was raining outside  He said “no”.  That’s a negative  My daughter asked if she could go to a friends house. I said “yes”.  That’s a positive.  Think of it as a game of “hot or cold”. We call this Piloting your dog. Rules of When to Use Negatives 1) When you don’t like what your dog is doing.  Yes, seriously…it’s that easy.  Ask yourself if you like the behavior your dog is giving (barking, jumping, or just laying against the fridge that you are trying to open), and if you don’t like it, give them a negative.  Remember your dog isn’t bad.  Dogs are incapable of being bad.  They are perfect… for a dog.  They just happen to suck at being human. And guess what?  You probably don’t make a very good dog. So let’s jettison the whole “Good/Bad” thing…and the gun.  You’re answering questions for your dog, not deciding if the questions make your dog “good” or “bad”. 2) When your dog is “yo-bitching” you. Now there’s an interesting term:  ”yo-bitching“.  What does that mean?  It’s when a dog slaps you with their paw.  Or jumps on you.  Or pushes you out of the way.  It’s the human equivalent of saying, “Yo, Bitch, gimme a cookie.” Or “Yo, Bitch, that’s my chair”.  Vulgar?  Absolutely.  Acceptable?  Never.  You wouldn’t accept a human addressing you like that, so don’t accept that from a dog.  Dog’s are perfectly capable of using polite, “May-I-Please” body language.  Start to demand and expect it at all times. On to the positives! 1) The come command/recall.  Positive, people.  Give your dog a good reason to come when you call. 2) When you are asking your dog to be human.  Think about what one dog will tell another dog.  Things like, “Go away”, or “Let’s play” or even “That’s mine”.  But dogs don’t teach each other English (“Sit”, for example). They don’t housebreak each other.  So if one dog can’t teach it to another dog, and you’re asking your dog to be a little bit human, you must use positives. 3) Calm.  This is the most important, most overlook opportunity for positives.  I want calm to be a like a lottery ticket:  You have to play to win (you’re probably not going to win), but unless you have a ticket, you definitely aren’t going to win.  That ticket is calm.  The more your dog has the “calm ticket” the more likely he is to win.  So if he’s calm, give him a gentle positive.  Anything from chilling out on the floor, to trying his best to be calm at the vet.  Reward the effort.  Progress, not perfection. So there you have it.  That’s all the rules.  When to give positive and when to give negative.  Everything you ever needed to know about how to work with your dog. But I didn’t address your questions from earlier? “Is it okay that my dog is on the couch?” “Can we play tug with a rope toy? Or is that wrong?” “We’re using puppy pads.  Is that bad?” Yes, I did!  About the couch, think about the negatives.  Do you like what your dog is doing on the couch?  No?  Then give him a negative.  Don’t care that he’s on the couch?  Well, then, neither do I, as long as he isn’t “yo bitching” you to get up there. Playing tug with a rope toy?  Cool!  I love a good, rough game of tug.  My husband doesn’t.  I encourage it.  My husband negates it.  Remember, ask yourself if you like the behavior, and if the answer is “yes”, go for it.  If the answer is “no”, then negate it.  Just make sure that you have your limits adhered to.  My Sparta is allowed to really go at it with me when we wrestle…until she isn’t  When I feel things have escalated too much, I simply give her a negative, and she stops. Puppy pads?  If it works for you, it works for me. In short, nobody should be telling you how to enjoy your dog.  My dogs are allowed to beg from the table, as I frequently give them a small amount of table scraps.  But once I’m done with them, they are given a negative, and they know to stop begging and stay away from me while I eat. My dogs, like yours, are only here for my enjoyment.  They make life easier, and so much sunnier!  Don’t let a book full of rules tell you how you should be enjoying their company.  Make sure you are indeed enjoying your dog, and not merely tolerating their behavior.  If you don’t like their behavior (say, getting up on the couch), it’s up to you to answer your dog’s question (“Can I sleep up here?”), and set your own rules of how to enjoy your dog.  The rules will differ from house to house, but the enjoyment will be constant. Now if you’ll excuse me, I’m about to snuggle in bed with my dogs while I share my snack of cheese and crackers with them. I’m tired from all that rope-tug I played with Sparta. Kerry Stack Darwin Dogs Dog Training in Cleveland, Ohio

When you believe in things that you don’t understand Then you suffer Superstition ain’t the way – Stevie Wonder Phone calls with new clients can sometimes be a little challenging. A lot of times, they’ve already tried to fix whatever behavior problems they’re having themselves.  And they use Google as their main tool.  Now I’m as big a fan as the next person of Google and solving my own problems, but as a lot of my clients are quick to point out, everything one dog trainer states contradicts another dog trainer. I personally try to think of it more as parenting rather than training.  You aren’t here to “train” your dog so much as to answer their questions and guide them onto the right path of behavior.  Once they are there, it’s pretty easy to keep them there with lots of positives, and the occasional gentle negation of unwanted behaviors. But sometimes I hear some really off-the-wall ideas.  Downright fallacies not based on science, but rather based on…superstition..  Thoughts and ideas that crumple once faced with logic.  “Flat Earth” level nonsense. So here we go.  The top 4 “facts” I hear about dogs and behavior. 1)  Don’t wrestle with your dog; it teaches them they can win. This is my Sparta.  She’s a 120lb Rottie/Shep mix that I rescued over 11 years ago. When we wrestle together there is no doubt in our minds who will win.  She will.  Every.  Single. Time.  When we wrestle, she Nerfs it for me, and we both know it.  Wrestling with your dog is like 50 Shades of Gray: Safe words are a must.  You stop as soon as the first person says the word. That way there are no misunderstandings.  Good, safe fun for everyone. But not playing because Sparta knows she can win?  That’s a power trip.  Are you going to turn down that game of Candy Land with your 5 year old because they may win? Everyone loves Candy Land! That’s like me never playing Super Smash Bros. with my 13yr old daughter because she might win. River kicks my ass all the time. So go ahead and wrestle with your dog. Just make sure that everyone is respecting when it’s time to stop, and when things have escalated too far.  If your dog hasn’t learned impulse control yet, or doesn’t stop when you call it quits, that’s a Piloting issue.  Get it sorted out first, and then enjoy your own little WWF. 2) Puppies only need 5 minutes of exercise a day per month of age. WTF is this?  Good luck with your 5 month old Boxer who is only getting a 25 minute walk every day. First, let’s start with the fact that at six months, little Fido is no longer a puppy; they are a viable young adult, (roughly) akin to about a 15 year old human. At 15, a 25 minute hike was a warm-up for me.  Secondly, is there a one-size-fits-all amount of exercise that a human needs?  Dogs are so much more varied in size and athletic ability than humans, you can’t really make such a generalized statement about their exercise needs.  Rather than relying on various memes posted, learn to read your dog’s own specific needs.  Is Fido climbing the walls? Maybe time for some activity (learn how to exercise your dog beyond the walk here).  Is Bella suddenly stopping and dropping on the walk? It could be that she’s overstimulated, especially if she’s still rambunctious again in the house.  Again, that would be a Piloting issue that needs to be resolved.  But if Bella is calm on a walk, or seems to be able to calm herself down in the house, then you are probably giving her enough activity. Final thought on activity for dogs.  More frequent and less duration is key with younger dogs.  Break it up into smaller “meals” of activity rather than just one big lump of a five-mile run.  Learn to read when your dog is “hungry” for activity rather than what some random meme tells you. 3) Don’t play rope toy/tug with your dog. It teaches them to be aggressive. Newsflash: your dog is a predator. They were born aggressive. And guess what?  It’s okay.  Rope toy looks awful sometimes when your dog is really into it, but the Fifty Shades of Gray analogy still works:  as long as you’re both still having fun, it’s all cool. When you say “stop”, the game should be able to end.  If Fido is still going, it’s indicative of a Piloting problem, not an aggression problem. Also, everything a dog does is geared towards being a more effective hunter, and working with the pack to effect a kill.  Paying rope/tug is just practicing how to hunt an animal together. Think that's weird? Well, where do you think most Sportsball games originated? War games. Learning and practicing warfare, but them nerfing it. "Legend has it that around 2,500 years ago Iranian warriors flaunted their defeated enemies' decapitated heads in sport to showcase their battleground prowess. In addition to proving their worth on the battlefield the game of polo is believed to have originally been adopted for training cavalry regiments." - SW Londener In the end, you do you on this one.  If you like practicing how to kill innocent rope toys with your dog, have at.  If not, there are plenty of other ways to bond with your dog.  But honestly, it’s the only upper body workout I ever get, so Sparta and I will still continue to play tug.  And she will still Nerf it for me so I can sometimes win, too. #GoodDog. 4) You shouldn’t let your dog on your bed/couch/chairs. Client:  Is it okay if I sleep with my dog? Me: I don’t care who you sleep with; that’s none of my business. Don’t fall for anyone else’s rules.  Rules are stupid, and nobody pays attention to them anyway.  Just like Monopoly…I guarantee you aren’t playing by the rules Rules are different than when you give a dog a negative. 1) When you don’t like their current behavior; or 2) When they’re “Yo, Bitch-ing” you.  Learn what the “Yo, Bitch” is here. That’s it.  If you don’t care about their behavior, and it isn’t a “Yo, Bitch”, it’s okay.  If you’re fine with the behavior, so am I. There are a lot more fallacies and bits of misinformation out there, but these are the biggest bits of lunacy I hear on a regular basis.  And as Stevie says: Keep me in a daydream, keep me goin’ strong You don’t wanna save me, sad is my song I’m inclined to agree:  Superstition ain’t the way What kinds of silly nonsense have you heard about dog training? Arguably one of the greatest riffs of all time. Thank you, Stevie. Kerry Stack Darwin Dogs Dog Training in Cleveland, Ohio

"Once you have had a wonderful dog, a life without one is a life diminished." - Dean Koontz Ah...the Covid Dog. I would say that 2019 was the year of the Floofadoodles, but I think I'm going to name the "Covid Dog" the dog breed of 2020. It seems as if the moment quarantine started to hit Cleveland, everyone got themselves a new dog. I'm not going to lie; I did, too. Remember Ellis? The dog I was going to foster for 2 weeks? Well, we're on week 166 of those two weeks. Yes, we did finally foster fail with Ellis. I would not have given him such a dumbass name if I knew I was going to foster fail him. Sorry, Ellis. However, bonus points to you if you know where the name came from. So you think you need a dog (and I'm not going to argue with that!). But a dog is a long term relationship. Don't try to turn a one-night stand into a long term relationship. You need to do a little research first before you take them home to mother. Unfortunately, a lot of the Covid Dogs not working out. Dogs having been adopted on a whim. Some dogs showing extreme dog reactivity. Dogs who turned out not to be safe around cats, or even worse: not safe around the kids. Here in Cleveland, the once empty (-ish) dog shelters and rescues are full again. At the end of the day, whose fault is it that the dog didn't work out? The new owners? I'm sorry, but I refuse to judge someone who puts their children's safety first. Yes, dog training helps, but it's not instantaneous. So while perhaps dog training is a better option than re-homing a dog who doesn't walk well on a leash, bear in mind there is margin for error on that one. There is no wiggle room for mistakes when you're dealing with aggressive behavior towards a child. Is it the dog's fault? No, please don't be silly. The beauty of dogs is that they are absolutely unapologetic about being a dog. They always do what they deem is correct based on the current information they have. They don't sugarcoat and they don't lie. Me: Does this dress make my butt look big? My Dogs: Absolutely! So it's important to know who you are inviting to share the next 10+ years of your life with. Covid Dog or not, they all have distinct personalities and it's imperative you understand, to the best of your ability, how that personality fits in with the personalities already living in your house before you decide on a dog. So how do you do that? By breed? Emphatically, no! Here's the problem with going by breed: you enter into the area of breed prejudice. No, not all Labs like water. Yes, there are some Border Collies who couldn't herd sheep out of a boot with the instructions written on the heel. Breed standards only give you a general idea of what you could expect from a specific breed, and is not an instruction manual for training the dog in front of you. Complicating the matter are dogs like the aforementioned "Floofadoodle" Floofadoodle: n. Any breed of dog that is half Poodle, i.e., Labradoodle, Goldendoodle, Cavapoo, and of course the crowed favorite, the Shihpoo. See also: Mutt. I always ask people why they got the dog they did (y'all have some hilarious "gotcha" stories!). I frequently hear people say that a friend of theirs got a Floofadoodle named Rex, and they really liked Rex, so they got a Floofadoodle too. By that logic, I can state that friend adopted a beautiful child from Hyrule few years ago, and she's such an amazing, wonderful child that now I want to adopt a child from Hyrule. It doesn't work like that! You aren't taking into account the individualism of each child. Judging who a dog is based on breed is just as stupid as judging someone by their where they are from. So don't do it. Ever. So how do you pick out a dog? The same way you'd buy a car. Research and thought. Be willing to ask yourself the tough questions. Why do you want a dog? Companionship? Protection? Because Floofadoodles are sooooooo cute? Be honest with yourself. Because this dog will be with you for quite a long time, and there is a special place in hell for people who have The Dog of the Year. You know the type: they have a new dog every time you see them. It's usually the trendy dog. What happened to that Yorkie they had in 2018? Well, it wouldn't stop peeing on the rug. And the Malti-poo from 2019? It wouldn't stop barking. But just take a look at their new teacup Chihuahua!!! Isn't she adorbs?! So now that I've ranted and railed against the bad dog owners, let's get down to business. What you need to know before adopting a dog. The way I always tell my clients to go about it is to make a checklist with three columns: Wants/Needs/Deal Breakers. And then assign a number to each item rated by importance with one being low and ten being high. Here's a simple example for a dog if I were to get another one: Wants Rating DEAL BREAKERS Puppy 3 Nothing under 8 lbs Young Adult 8 Dog/Human/Animal reactive or aggressive Healthy 5 Resource Guarding No Sep. Anxiety 4 Medium Size 6 Housebroken 5 No Shedding 8 Purebred 2 How does this actually help? Well, most shelters and rescues are very familiar with who they are caring for. I can walk into any shelter and show this to them, and most shelters/rescues would then be able to match a great dog to my needs and wants. Or even better, they can tell me they don't have what I need right now. This is important. Remember, you are in this for a long-term commitment. You will have this dog for longer than most Hollywood marriages last. You wouldn't walk into a car dealership without knowing what you wanted, and even more absurdly, simply buy something that doesn't fit your lifestyle simply because you don't want to leave empty-handed. The worst case scenario is that you are shown a dog who doesn't fit your wants/needs, but you fall in love with them anyway. Know your limitations, because you may return that hard-luck case to the shelter in 2 weeks because he doesn't like cats, and during that 2-week period, the perfect home for that dog may have slipped away. The object is to adopt a dog that will permanently and safely stay in your home. So looking at my list, you can see that purebreds are interesting to me, but definitely not a deal breaker. To me, it's like a bow on a brand new Porche; cute, but lack of a bow doesn't diminish the Porche. I'd kinda prefer a puppy, but not by too large of a margin. Separation anxiety totally sucks, but I know how to work with the behavior, so not a deal breaker for me. I'd just like to avoid it if possible. Housebroken is better, but again, not a deal breaker. I'd prefer healthy, but again, not an absolute deal breaker. Now we get to the meatier issues. I am SO done with vacuuming and sweeping fur all the time. I love Sparta, but OMG I want a younger adult. Why? Because I'm selfish. I don't want to say goodbye too soon. So I'm selfish, but I'm honest. Another reason is because I can handle all the puppy energy that comes off a young dog. I actually enjoy it. Now let's get to the deal breakers. Size: shocked that I don't want a small dog? All 5 lbs. of my Orion is definitely shocked. While I love Orion, I don't love the health issues that have come with him. And that little guy is definitely tough, I can only let him outside in our yard when Sparta and Ellis are outside due to the hawk threats. I'd rather just avoid the issue entirely. Dog/Human/Animal Aggression: A lot of people would try to convince me to take an animal aggressive dog because I can work with the behavior. Why, yes I can. But I don't want to. I have 5 ducks, 2 cats, 3 dogs and 2 kids. So while yes, I can work with the behavior, do I trust how everyone else will be able and willing to work with the potentially dangerous dog we've added? Remember, it's not just my dog; it's the family dog. Know your limits as well as the family's limits. Resource Guarding: Oh, man....I could write a book on resource guarding exclusively. It's tough. Here's a brief look at what's involved in dealing with it, but let's just say it can be difficult at best and traumatic at worst. So that's my list. My husband's list would look different than mine. We would need to find the commonality and compromise on the "Wants" and accept each other's "Deal Breakers". Notice how there's no mention of energy level? It's not because I'm an athlete who can handle an active dog with 10 mile runs everyday. I just know how to handle energetic dogs intelligently and efficiently, as outlined in my article here. In other words, issues that aren't an issue (for me, anyway) don't make it on the list. I really don't care what color the dog is, or if it's male or female. But if it's important to you, LIST IT. So before you head out and blindly adopt what turns out to be an albatross around your neck for the next 12 years, or even worse, regrettably have to return a dog to the shelter, do yourself a favor and make your list of wants and deal breakers. Make each person in your family fill one out independently, and take them seriously. I've even made a form to get you started, and included some of the things people forget to mention (click here for the form). Print it. Fill it out. Take it with you to the shelter, and get ready to meet your Best Dog Ever. Dog Training vs. Dog Life By focusing on dog life, rather than dog training, our goals can become so much more attainable and clear-cut. Most of us don't want an obedient dog, we just don't want a dis-obedient dog. Robot-style dogs who are afraid of stepping out of line are for certain types of people I guess. But that's not my style. That's why I developed the Piloting method of dog training over 20 years ago, a force-free method of dog training and puppy training that didn't rely on abusive shock collars or cruel prong collars, yet didn't constantly bribe with non-stop click-n-treat style dog training. I want a bond with my dog based on trust and communication. Learn more about our Piloting method of dog and puppy training here. Find out more about our private in home 30 Day Best Dog Ever and 30 Day Best Puppy Ever training packages here. Have questions about our puppy training or dog training? Kerry Stack Darwin Dogs Dog Training and Puppy Training Greater Cleveland Area Northeast Ohio

“You can cry, ain't no shame in it. -Will Smith Ben’s owners called me to help with some food reactivity.  They were both desperate, a young couple about to be married.  Sam had adopted Ben as a young dog, and brought him into the relationship.  Susie accepted Ben as her own, and did her best to help care for him. He’d been in their house about two weeks when things started to change. He started resource guarding. For those of you who are unfamiliar with resource guarding, or in this case, food reactivity, it is a very difficult thing.  A very scary thing.  You never know when your dog will react.  In Ben’s case, he was extremely unpredictable.  He had bitten at least 4 people that I know of, not including Susie, who he had actually punctured though her finger with his teeth.  A couple of his victims had actually been seasoned dog professionals. At least on one occasion, he had guarded his own vomit in an effort to make sure nobody else could get at it. It was an extreme case to say the least. Susie was distraught, as was Sam.  The difference was, Sam was a little bit more confident around Ben, which made Ben a little less reactive around Sam.  Oh, Sam had still gotten bitten (fairly regularly), but the focal point of Ben’s ferocity was directed at Susie.  Susie happened to have a very nurturing demeanor about her.  Tall, beautiful, and looking just as at home in a Titian painting as she would on a fashion runway, she had a proclivity towards being a caretaker.  Sam wasn’t too far behind her.  They were perhaps the most emotionally healthy couple I’ve ever met.  Now Susie was before me, sitting on the couch, sobbing because she was (rightfully) terrified of her own dog. So I explained the situation to them.  I helped Susie understand that her lack of confidence around Ben was making his reactivity even worse.  I showed her how to act more confident around him while still maintaining her personal safety.  I had her walk him on a leash, guiding her at first, until she became more comfortable.  I showed them both the merits of The PAW Method (Piloting, Activity and Work) as well as the three steps to working with a dog: 1) Control yourself; 2) Control the situation; 3) Answer your dog’s questions. Most important in a situation like this was step 2: Controlling the situation.  In other words, in a stressful or high energy situation (food) the worst thing you can do is add more stimulation.  Calm was mandatory, and if the dog wasn’t calm (i.e., lunging at you and snapping), one must go against their nature and remain calm. It’s okay to fake calm. Just make sure you win the Academy Award for best actor. I walked them step by step, how to react when Ben was attacking.  I put food on the floor, far from Ben, and immediately Ben lunged and snarled, trying to attack me.  I showed them how to maintain control, as outlined here, and most importantly, remain safe.  Susie seemed to relax more and more. But Susie was never quite comfortable, and who could blame her.  Sam and Susie asked me how long it would take to cure him of this behavior.  I gave them the brutal truth. “Never.  You will never cure him of this behavior.  It’s like asthma…you don’t cure it, you manage it.  And just like asthma, sometimes you take all the precautions in the world, and you still have a flair-up.  This is about managing the situation, not curing it.” They both looked crestfallen.  They admitted to me that they were going through training as not even a last-ditch effort, but more as a way to bring into light the truth they already knew: Ben wasn’t safe. Ben was downright dangerous. They asked what I thought about re-homing a dog like this.  I gave them my honest opinion, that it’s akin to lighting the fuse on a stick of dynamite and passing it around like a game of Hot Potato.  You never knew when that fuse would run out.  Human safety must come first.  I wasn’t ready to give up yet, though. I offered a compromise. “Keep him.  Work with him.  Remain safe, but you two are young, and you’re most likely thinking of children.  Just promise me that if you ever get pregnant, you need to take Ben to the Rainbow Bridge.  Don’t re-home him, because you know one day you’ll see a child with a scarred up face and wonder if his family adopted Ben and he did that.  Because you’ve seen the damage Ben can inflict.” Both Sam and Susie started tearing up.  We finished up the session, and I saw Susie going from being terrified of the dog to slowly…very slowly, building up more confidence.  She would never feel safe without Ben on a leash, even in the house, and she was right not to.  She would never trust him if she accidentally dropped food on the floor, and she was wise to trust her instincts.  In other words, she would be relegating herself to the role of wary victim the rest of her time with him, because, while her self confidence was improving, and her recourse of action in these situations were being spelled out, she could never trust her own dog. As I was leaving, I asked Sam and Susie to keep me updated on his progress, and to call me immediately with any questions.  Sam got quiet, and Susie turned away. “We already made the decision”, Sam said. “We’re taking Ben to be put down tonight.” I was floored.  It was so in-my-face.  I know not every family can have a happily ever after, but this family!  Susie worked so hard.  I have never seen someone struggle to overcome their fear so desperately, and finally succeed.  She was the ultimate Pilot!  She mentally gave her all to Ben, steeling herself even when she was scared!  How could they give up so quickly?! But those thoughts quickly fled as I realized what that would be relegating her life to:  constantly being vigilant.  Constantly Piloting, lest she be attacked and injured.  I was still amazed by their decision, but immediately (somehow) respected them even more that they came to it. They both loved the dog (it was obvious).  Both wanted the happily ever after, but they both knew it could not be safely attained. “That is the best example of Piloting I’ve ever seen, ” I told them.  I hated their decision, but realized there really wasn’t a safer option.  After all, what if Ben were human and treating Susie like that?  I asked her that very question.  She chuckled, because she said Sam had essentially asked her the same thing. “I’d do with any victim of domestic violence would do….I’d try to change to make him happy so I’d be safe.”  And that was what her life would become with Ben. That’s why the decision had to be made. So I left them, amazed by their ability to do the difficult thing. Both were faking that they were okay, but both were inwardly grieving already. Sam found Ben in an animal shelter as a young dog.  Sam rescued him, and took care of him.  Fed him, walked him, played with him, and loved him, until it was no longer safe to do so.  He gave Ben the best one and a half years that any dog could wish for.  He didn’t merely extend his life, prolonging the inevitable, while Ben languished in some wretched state of limbo in a shelter or kennel.  He enhanced his life for that time.  But humans come first, no matter what, and Ben’s behavior was amazingly severe. Ben died that night.  Surrounded by those who (tried their hardest) to love him.  I received a very tearful voicemail the next day from Sam, thanking me for what I had done for them, and helping them to see clearly the nature of what they were up against. There are those of you who will be angry regarding this outcome. Who believe that under no circumstances should a dog ever be put down due to behavior, even aggressive dogs who have severely injured people before.  But whose circumstances are those?  Not theirs to live in.  Yes, perhaps they can claim that they’ve “been there” and never gave up on their dog  And they have the wounds and scars to prove it.  I applaud them…I truly do!  But no two situations are exactly alike.  I’ve worked with many people who have resource guarding dogs, and most of them are able to understand the severity of the issue, and yet are still able to take on the challenge responsibly, and live with their dogs in a safe, Piloted atmosphere.  However, each situation is different, and each human is different.  It was time to say goodbye to Ben.  Was he a bad dog?  Absolutely not!  He wasn’t a safe dog, and that’s what made their decision so difficult. Dogs work in mysterious ways, though.  One can imagine the scenario as they were saying goodbye to their pet.  Crying, the dog softly licking them, as if to say, “It’s all right, I’ll be okay. We all did the best we could”, and then Ben quietly slipping off to run along the Rainbow Bridge. Only our pets don’t work like that.  Sometimes they don’t give us what we want, but what we need. Ben bit the vet.  Badly.  Part of me thinks it’s because that helped to drive the reality of the situation home for poor Susie and Sam.  Perhaps he was trying to help them to help him across the Bridge, because that’s how dogs work.  Giving until the very end. I needed a drink after writing this post. Or two.  It was an incredibly painful ending, especially with two people as wonderful as Sam and Susie.  Pilots to the end. Kerry Stack Darwin Dogs Dog Training in Cleveland, Ohio

The art of communication is the language of leadership. - James Humes My 14-year old son flipped me off the other day. And I did nothing about it. Probably not how you expected this blog post to start. Definitely not how you may have expected me to react, either. Let me set the scenario for you, though. Eric is the most well-behaved child I have ever met.  He’s always been that way.  Does what he’s told.  Takes responsibility for his actions.  He’s currently maintaining a 3.8 GPA, and will be graduating from high school at 17 with an associates degree.  He's extremely goal oriented, and I think he was a Border Collie in a past life. Overachiever is an understatement. The other day, the kids were were helping me around the house, as they always do.  But Eric just kept messing up, and ended by spilling an entire bucket of water on the floor. Eric go clean that up now! Tripping over the vacuum  cord and unplugging it. Eric, you’re not helping; go plug it back in! Using oil soap to clean the stainless steel appliances. Nice…now you have to go clean it twice as hard. It was this scenario all day.  The final straw was when I turned a corner the same moment he did and we crashed into each other, causing him to drop the garbage bag he was holding, spilling its contents everywhere.  I rolled my eyes and told him in an exasperated voice to clean it up. My immediate reaction was extreme frustration over the situation. As he was walking by me, I saw him with his middle finger pressed up against his chest, as if I couldn’t see it. I couldn’t believe he would flip off his own mother! Especially Eric.  It would be like hearing Shirley Temple drop an “F” bomb. Yeah, I was furious.  But I had sense enough to never engage with anything when I’m furious.  As usual, I recited my Darwin Dogs’ mantra: Step one - Control yourself; Step two - Control the situation; Now your ready to engage with what you have in front of you. Damn.  I wasn’t even within shouting distance of step one at that point, and I knew it would take a bit for me to control myself. I retired to my room to collect myself and left the kids downstairs to finish cleaning, and busied myself with writing blog posts instead. I came back downstairs about an hour later.  They had finished cleaning the house.  Alone.  Without my constant nagging.  It was at that moment I realized that I had been making the situation wretched.  I had two kids who had a day off of school cleaning my house without complaint.  I had accidentally asked them to be adults, and then neglected to treat them with respect.  Was it my fault? Yes and no.  A certain number of things need to be done.  But how I went about them?  Completely wrong. Yes, Eric needed to be Piloted, and have his questions answered, be they asked in a verbal or non-verbal fashion.  But how had I reacted all day?  With constant negatives.  Nit-picking, if you will.  His body language should have told me how he was starting to feel, but I didn’t pay attention.  I didn’t notice he looked dejected.  He had no respite, and I had essentially backed him into a corner to the point where he flipped me off (albeit, incognito).  He felt he had no voice. That’s not normally how I do things. My kids are a constant source of learning for me.  You’ll see them splashed all over the Darwin Dogs’ blog as well as on the Facebook page.  They have made me a better dog trainer, and my dogs have made me a better parent.  That’s why I didn’t react when Eric flipped me off: I’ve been working with dogs in a flight or flight state for many years.  I recognize the reaction when I see it.  When you feel as if you can’t take any more stimuli and you’re stressed beyond all belief. And I was the one who put Eric into that state. Technically, you can say he should have spoken up.  Problem is, he’s only 12.  Second problem is, he never advocates for himself.  He takes orders and requests to heart, completing them no matter how crazy they sound.  He’s like a tiny little soldier.  I had just pushed him to far. What would I do differently next time?  Still correct him, but realize that when I engage while frustrated, I’m merely chucking my emotions onto him, which is unfair.  Nothing is of such extreme importance that it can’t wait for me to regain my composure. Nothing. So yes, I’m allowed to get angry, frustrated, and upset, but it’s my job to set the example, starting with Step 1: Control yourself.  Also, even if he did need all of those negatives, why didn’t I throw a positive in there?  Stop and reboot. A simple deep breath followed by a, “Hey kids, let’s take a break and have some wine cookies”, would have prevented the entire incident. I talked with Eric, and told him that while flipping me off was not the appropriate response, that I realized why he did it.  He felt he had no voice.  He was trapped, so he became aggressive (for Eric, anyway).  I apologized for my inability to control neither myself, nor the situation.  But part of my raising Eric includes helping him learn to advocate for himself.  Let me know when you need help, even if it’s help from me. Because another part of raising kids is letting them know it’s okay to not be perfect.  Just do better. I have had many opportunities to use the lesson Eric taught me that day. Dogs can’t speak, though, so it’s up to us to know and read their language (hint: body language).  In my head, I call it “a little bird told me”. - Working with a Buddy, a rottie who is dog reactive, and owner who was giving the correct (non-emotional) negatives, but failed to give their dog any positives when they calmed down even just a little bit. I had visions of my son flipping me off. Me: A little bird told me a bit of positive will help reduce his stress level in this situation…yours as well. The moment his energy drops, even a little, sneak in a gentle scratch behind his ears or even a small treat. Dramatic decrease in negative energy from both dog and owner. - Hanging out with a ridiculously adorable terrier mix who was experiencing separation anxiety.  His owners underestimated the power of positive in the situation. That little bird had more information to give. Me: A little bird told me once it’s best to wait until he’s quiet(er) and walk up to the crate and pass him a treat. Next time he’s quiet(er) give him a gentle scratch through the crate.  Final time, let him come out.  Let him know he’s on the right path: calmness. Slow, but steady progress was made. - Or my all-time favorite: a woman named Ann who owned a Cane Corso named Coco, who would go bananas at anything and everything: door, other dogs, people.  Coco was an unholy and snarling mess of anxiety.   Ann was terrified to go out the door with Coco because she had behaved so violently in the past, dragging Ann down the street.  Ann was visibly shaken at the thought of going for a walk with Coco.  Up until I met her, she had been only allowing Coco to potty in the back yard, and then returning her to the house, yelling at Coco if she even looked at anything So what did I do? I realized that Ann was the one who needed a positive. Ann was the one who was terrified.  Yes, Coco was, too, and was only trying to protect Ann from Everything In The Whole Wide World, but Ann was doing the best she could, and she just couldn’t anymore. Ann needed a pep talk, and a very small walk, just to get her feet wet (literally out the front door  with Coco and then right back in).  Now I had my opportunity to dole out the positives for both of them.  Ann felt as if she had accomplished something.  And sometimes it’s not about accomplishing it all. Ann is creating a small series of “somethings” and positives. Life is a series of small somethings bundled up together.  It’s up to you if you want the bundle to contain mostly negatives, or mostly positives. A little bird told me that. Dog Training vs. Dog Life By focusing on dog life, rather than dog training, our goals can become so much more attainable and clear-cut. Most of us don't want an obedient dog, we just don't want a dis-obedient dog. Robot-style dogs who are afraid of stepping out of line are for certain types of people I guess. But that's not my style. That's why I developed the Piloting method of dog training over 20 years ago, a force-free method of dog training and puppy training that didn't rely on abusive shock collars or cruel prong collars, yet didn't constantly bribe with non-stop click-n-treat style dog training. I want a bond with my dog based on trust and communication. Learn more about our Piloting method of dog and puppy training here. Find out more about our private in home 30 Day Best Dog Ever and 30 Day Best Puppy Ever training packages here. Have questions about our puppy training or dog training? Kerry Stack Darwin Dogs Dog Training and Puppy Training Greater Cleveland Area Northeast Ohio

You’d be surprised how many people violate this simple principle every day of their lives and try to fit square pegs into round holes, ignoring the clear reality that Things Are As They Are.  - Benjamin Hoff I posted a photo on the Darwin Dogs Facebook page recently.  I found it excessively humorous.  What do you think? So many veterinarians, vet techs, dog lovers, etc. responded with laughter and a knowing nod of their heads.  Some even countered with “Dachshunds”.  One idiot tried to claim that pit bulls were on the top of that list.  As usual with anything I post on Facebook, I had a PM sent to me offering dissent: I would like to ask that you take down and/or address this post. I really don’t find it fair to perpetuate stereotypes about any breed of dog, particularly as someone people look to for advice on these sorts of things. At first blush,  it would appear that the author is correct.  But what they are confusing is three separate issues, or as I like to put it, Why I Have A Career Dog Training.  Because let’s face it, if it weren’t for these three issues, nobody would need help with their dog’s behaviors. So let’s tease this out:  are Chihuahuas inherently aggressive? ISSUE 1: YOU HAVE A PUREBRED, BUT UNDERESTIMATED BREED STANDARDS The dissenter was annoyed that I was perpetuating  a stereotype of a breed standard.  But as I have stated many times, I’m not against breed profiling; I’m against inaccurate breed profiling.  Let’s face it, if I wanted a dog to herd cattle, I wouldn’t be looking at a poodle. If I wanted a dog to clean out all the vermin in my farm, I wouldn’t want a Staffie (honestly, most pit bulls would count them as their new friends). So obviously this is profiling breeds.  So is the fact that I will NEVER get another Shepherd mix from the shelter… I love my Sparta so much, but I long to wear white clothes again without fur. Or any clothes without fur. Or coffee without fur...or PB&J. I currently own two Roomba vacuums in addition to my upright vac. Of course you can state that how much a breed sheds is only a profile of their physical attributes, but let’s delve deeper. - If I were to mention a dog that likes is obsessed with water, would you be able to come up with a breed off the top of your head? Maybe a Lab or a Golden. - If I asked what dog is good at guarding flocks, Great Pyrenees immediately come to mind for me. - What about dogs who tend to have a very high prey drive?  Jack Russells, and Irish Terriers immediately come to mind. Now, does that mean all Labs love water?  No.  Only the vast majority.  Are they the only dog who likes water?  Obviously not.  But love of the water is what they were bred to have. Pyrenees were bred to be, according to the AKC: “In nature, the Great Pyrenees is confident, gentle, and affectionate. While territorial and protective of his flock or family when necessary, his general demeanor is one of quiet composure, both patient and tolerant. He is strong willed, independent” And while I have no use for the AKC due to their love of registering dogs, but disdain for actually stepping  up for animal welfare (**cough cough** PUPPY MILLS **cough cough), they do have a rather succinct description for each  breed’s general temperament.  And honestly, I’ve found most of these to be spot on. Side note:  I love that when describing Pyrenees, they used the word “independent” rather than “stubborn”.  I hate the word stubborn. So when someone calls me and asks me for help with their Border Collie who is destroying everything in their house, I know to start by discussing Activity and Work.  Are you giving your Border Collie enough exercise to equal herding sheep for 8 hours a day? Are you using the right dog for the right job?  Didn’t think so. What kind of mind games are you giving to your Border Collie, the dogs I call the Hermione Grangers of the dog world?  None?  Well, there’s your problem. So don’t get a Jack Russell if you enjoy squirrels in your yard.  Or do…just realize you will be spending a lot of time Piloting them (unless you enjoy the sound of squirrels screaming, you twisted monster).  Which leads me to the second, bigger reason why people need help with their dog’s behaviors. ISSUE 2: YOU TREAT YOUR DOG AS A BREED RATHER THAN AN INDIVIDUAL Wait, didn’t I just state that breed standards are important?  Yes, they are.  Especially for purebred dogs that you didn’t get from a puppy mill (sorry, if you got your dog in “Amish Country” or from a pet store, it’s a puppy mill dog). Reputable breeders strive to maintain healthy breed standards.   But there are always outliers.  The Border Collie who is terrified of sheep.  The Lab who hates water (haven’t met one yet, though).  It’s like the kid whose parents are forcing him to major in medicine because he comes from a long line of doctors.  They failed to notice that the child has no brains in their fingers, and will therefore never make a great surgeon.  Plus the fact the poor kid faints at the sight of blood.  But no child of mine will be a writer!  Med school for you, boy! This is a big reason why I love shelter dogs.  Most of the time they are Frankenmutts.  It’s exceptionally difficult to determine their breed(s) without DNA tests.  And even then, they tend to look like a Pollock painting of different breeds, with no single breed comprising more than 8% of said dog. ISSUE 3: YOU AREN’T PILOTING YOUR DOG ENOUGH Lack of Piloting is the huge issue my clients have.  What is Piloting?  Essentially answering your dog’s questions.  For example, my Sparta: Sparta:  Can I kill our new cat? Me: Um….no. Ta-da!  I answer her question.  Now, the more you Pilot, the easier it gets.  When I first got our cat Echo many, many years ago, Sparta did want to kill him.  So I took things easy, and answered every single one of her questions.  Years later, they are kindred spirits and often hang out together.  But it took a while before I felt I had Piloted Sparta enough to start to trust (let alone anticipate) my answers.  Because that is the ultimate goal of Piloting:  to help them anticipate the answer. About 5 years ago I brought in another kitten.  While I still had to Pilot Sparta around the newbie, it wasn’t nearly as arduous as when I got Echo.  Not only had Sparta and I been through the whole ordeal previously, but there was another three years worth of random questions I had answered for Sparta in between getting those two cats. - Can I eat out of the litter box?  No, Sparta. - Can I play rope toy roughly? Not right now, Sparta. - Is the postman a threat? No, Sparta. - Do  you want me to be calm when I see a squirrel in the yard?  Yes Sparta!  Nice job! So each question I answer for her is “money” out of her Piloting Piggy Bank.  It goes into my Piloting Piggy Bank.  And remember, whoever has the most money wins.  Let’s also bear in mind what the definition of “anxiety” is: Anxiety: noun a feeling of worry, nervousness, or unease, typically about an imminent event or something with an uncertain outcome. In other words, fear of the unknown…unanswered questions. Start Piloting your dog.  Most people don’t understand that their dogs need to have Piloting.  Or if they have an idea, they don’t understand how to tell their dog that the mailman isn’t going to kill them.  But if your dog actively shirks from new people, or they are inherently suspicious of other dogs, I don’t care what breed of dog they are, or what the breed standard says they should be: don’t force Wally the Golden Retriever to be a therapy dog just because a lot of therapy dogs are Golden Retrievers! Work with the dog you have, not the breed you bought. Those are the three reasons why a dog owner parent may call me for help with their dogs behaviors.  So let’s apply that to the original issue:  that meme. Why Chihuahuas? Why did so many people share this, and laugh and agree?  Because it’s true.  There were some of you who voted for Dachshunds, too…for the same reasons I’m about to write about below. ISSUE 1: YOU HAVE A PUREBRED, BUT UNDERESTIMATED BREED STANDARDS What does the AKC have to say about Chihuahuas? General Appearance: A graceful, alert, swift-moving compact little dog with saucy expression, and with terrier-like qualities of temperament. Temperament: Alert, projecting the ‘terrier-like’ attitudes of self importance, confidence, selfreliance [sic] Meaning, they won’t accept an answer from you Because You Said So. Remember, you need to have a good reason why your answer is better than theirs.  And “I’m The Human” doesn’t cut it. ISSUE 2: YOU TREAT YOUR DOG AS A BREED RATHER THAN AN INDIVIDUAL Fifi is a Chihuahua.  Not a doll. Not the child you always wanted. She is a full grown dog.  Maybe she’s more frightened of loud noises than most Chihuahuas you’ve known.  Maybe she’s not as “terrier like” as the AKC describes Chihuahuas.  That shouldn’t matter.  You aren’t Piloting a breed standard.  You are Piloting Fifi.  Now do your job.  The job you have.  Not the job you want.  I never wanted a dog-reactive dog.  But Sparta has always had a lot of questions about other dogs.  Does that make her bad or aggressive?  No.  It means she has a question that, as her Pilot, I’m accountable to answer.  And I do. ISSUE 3: YOU AREN’T PILOTING  YOUR DOG ENOUGH As seen from the general breed standard description above, Chihuahuas don’t need your help.  Fortunately, though, like all dogs, they are logical.  If you have a better answer, they are more than willing to hear it and act upon it…if it seems logical to them.  The beauty of a dog is that they are able to change their minds based upon new information, just like  Facebook arguments no human ever.  So your Chihuahua, Fifi, is asking you if  you need to be protected from your 5 year old grandchild who just came over for a hug. What you see: What Fifi sees: You didn’t answer Fifi’s question, namely, “Is the Demon Child going to kills us?”, and the absence of “no” is “yes”.  Therefore Fifi is protecting you.  Sure you yelled at Fifi. You ranted at Fifi.  But all you did was prove that you are not in control of yourself enough to answer anybody’s questions.  By default you asked Fifi to protect you, so she did.  Is Fifi aggressive?  Resoundingly no! Fifi merely handled the situation as appropriately as she could, based upon the information she was given.   Learn to Pilot your dog, so poor Fifi doesn’t have to be The Destroyer of Ankles. Learn the Piloting position.  If you have Fifi in a position to protect you, on your lap, facing said stranger, then she will protect you.  Don’t ask for protection via body language, because Fifi will indeed protect you.  And she’ll do a good job of it! Less of this kind of pretzel body language: More of this: Not this: And never this. You look stupid, Riker. True Piloting from a seated position looks like this: So your posture is truly important, especially in a seated position with a dog on your lap. I have a friend who is a vet.  She introduced me to the term “Lap Shark”.  We all know them.  They aren’t exclusive to Chihuahuas by any means, but are almost entirely comprised of dogs who weigh less than 7 pounds who are always perched jauntily upon their owners laps.  Now, I love hanging with my dogs, and more often than not, that includes lap-time.  But there’s a difference between hanging out for cuddles and a dog who is staking a claim upon me, and letting others know that I’m their human. Unfortunately, it seems as if Chihuahuas bear the brunt of this.  Are they aggressive by nature?  As a breed, no!  No more so than any other dog.  But if they don’t have answers to their questions about your/their safety, of course they are going to react! So please, stop asking your dog to protect you!  I’ve never actually met a truly aggressive dog.  There is no such thing.  All there are is dogs who have never been Piloted for the situation they have been thrust in. Dogs who have accidentally asked to Pilot and protect.   A dog who is doing the best they can, and sometimes that means teeth.  Believe me, I’ve been bitten many times, but never by what I’d determine an “aggressive dog”. If a dog tells you they are going to bite, they are going to bite. The beauty of dogs is that they never lie.  So when little Fifi is sitting on Grandma’s lap snarling, she is telling you that if you come closer, she will be forced to bite you. But since she’s such a small dog, nobody takes her seriously, and the human forces the issue.  Nobody would do this with a larger dog.  Poor Fifi is a victim of her size. So the bottom line:  are Chihuahuas more likely to bite than other dogs?  Possibly.  I’ve been bit by more Chihuahuas than any other breed of dog.  I work with more Chihuahuas than I do Sharpeis or Borzois, simply because of the popularity of Chihuahuas. However, as far as dog breeds go, who is set up for failure more than any other dogs?  Arguably Chihuahuas.  The numbers alone are against them:  born in a puppy mill.  Sent to a home where they want The Perfect Little Dog, but aren’t willing to Pilot their little Fifi.  Treated like trinkets and dolls rather than capable, independent beings.  Not given activity, mental work.  Never given credit for having minds of their own. And worst of all, being asked to protect themselves from all forms of danger, most of it on an order of magnitude, 50 times their size!!!! So why are Chihuahuas No. 1 on that list? Because we put them there. Kerry Stack Darwin Dogs Dog Training, Differently

When you talk, you are only repeating what you already know. But if you listen, you may learn something new. - Dalai Lama Ah…the melodious sound of a dog barking.  It’s always the harbinger of something even more onerous:  the cacophony of barking dog mixed with barking owner: What are you barking at?!  Fido, enough! I said stop!  Quiet!  Do you want to go to your crate?!  ENOUGH! I love when I walk into a client’s house, and the owners tell me about their dog’s barking problem.  They describe how Fido barks at everything and nothing at the same time.  And what is the owner’s response to the barking? ”Stop or I’ll say “stop” again!” Fido is asking a question when he’s barking.  It’s a very legitimate question in his mind, even if it seems like nonsense in yours.  He doesn’t see a pug walking in front of the house with their owner like you do.  He sees a predator in his front yard who he can’t identify as of yet.  He’s asking you to come over and answer one simple question:  Is this a threat?  Fido barks when he’s in his crate.  Can you come over here and let me out?  All of Fido’s barking has one thing in common:  a question that needs to be answered. For example, suppose you’ve just fixed yourself a grilled cheese sandwich for lunch, with a nice side of potato chips. You’re ready to sit on the couch in front of the tv and zone out for a bit while you enjoy your meal.  Suddenly a local predator has set his sights on you. It's Fido, the Golden Retriever. After smelling the grilled cheese, he sits directly in front of you, staring.  You try to ignore him, but it doesn’t work.  He hovers even closer to you.  You shift away from him, desperately trying to ignore him, but then he starts in with the barking.  Non-stop.  He’s asking….or, rather, demanding, that you give him that sandwich.  So you start yelling at him. Of course it doesn’t work, so you end up either putting him in his crate where he continues his caterwauling, or you eventually give up and give him some of your food.  Congratulations, you’ve now reinforced this behavior. In his mind, barking at you is what is required to get some of your human food.  Or anything else Fido feels he deserves. So let’s start from the beginning.  We all know barking is your dog’s way of getting you to do something, be it give him food or give him an answer.  Usually both.  So instead of coming up with a myriad of ways to handle the situation, let’s just take the simple route:  why not just answer his question? Dogs are binary creatures, which means every question they ever ask will be a yes or no question: Is that other dog going to kill us? Can I have some of your food? Can we play rope toy right now? So all you need to do is respond to them using “yes” or “no”.  Kinda like a game of true/false or hot/cold.  Even easier, “yes” is the absence of “no”. (If you have kids you already know this:  But you never said I couldn’t!)  Unless you answer your dog’s question with a “no”, you are telling your dog you accept their current behavior.  So to communicate with your dog, you need to answer the question.  Here’s how to do that, using their language. Control yourself.  If you’re angry, rushed, hyper, annoyed, whatever, it’s not going to work.  They’re going to take that energy you are giving off and fling it right back at you like monkeys at the zoo.  Take a second to get your composure.  Don’t rush.  The question will be answered when you are ready to answer it. Controlling yourself has another component, though.  Your body language.  Sit and stand like a letter “T”. No cowering.  No pretzeling your body.  You need to look confident that you have the answer to this question.  Stand up straight.  Dogs are based on body language, and if you’re giving off a “I’m-not-sure-what-do-you-think-dear” vibe, they’re not going to be willing to accept your answer. Control the situation.  Don’t add more stimulation to the situation!  So your dog is barking, don’t join in!  Noise equals energy (think about the music played at a nightclub vs. a funeral home).  Yelling at your dog only stresses both of you out more.  It doesn’t work.  Be silent.  Don’t add to the energy.  No, not even talking a little bit.  Be silent, and you’ll be amazed at how much energy is diffused. Answer the question. To tell a dog “no” simply stand up straight and walk into them, invading their personal space.  Keep your feet like a letter “V” (I don’t want you stepping on their toes!).  Your dog will back off.  Once they’ve stopped barking, take a step back.  They will start up again (odds are this is the first time you’ve ever answered one of their questions, so they aren’t quite prepared to believe the answer at first).  By all means, answer their question again.  And again.  Prove to them you can answer their question. It's not about being stronger, nor do you have to be faster. Think of it as a game of "Whoever Loses Their Calm First Loses". You will be calm and steadfast with your answer. Now here’s the trick.  Remember how I said that it was like a game of hot/cold?  I wasn’t kidding.  In dog trainer lingo, you’re trying to catch a behavior.  In this instance, silence.  So your dog is barking, use the body language.  The moment they stop, remove your strong body language.  Pretty soon they get the idea. In my head it's "Red Light/Green Light". Weeping Angels - World Champions of Red Light/Green Light For a better visual on how to do this, try this little exercise:  you’re going to drop a piece of cheese on the floor, and not let your dog get it.  Your dog’s question is, “Can I have that?”  Your answer is going to be “no”, and you’re going to use the same steps and the same body language as described above: Control yourself.  Deep breath.  Stand like a letter “T”, not a letter “S”.  Good! Control the situation. Is you dog hyper? You’re not ready yet.  Get them seated and staying where they are (you may have to extend your arm and pretend your are drilling a hole right between their eyes with your finger – that’s how you get a dog to stay where they are).  Dog is seated?  Staying?  Great!  But how close to you?  Remember, you are about to add a whole lot of stimulation in the form of that cheese landing on the floor.  If they are right on top of you already, that’s not giving yourself a fighting chance for it.  Think of it like this, a dog eating a bone never lets another dog right next to them.  They back the other dog off, and then continues eating the bone.  Pretend you need a little buffer of personal space.  Got it?  Now you’re ready. Answer the question.  Drop the cheese.  Odds are your dog tries to dart for the cheese on the floor.  Simply insert your body between your dog and the cheese, backing Fido off your food.  Pretend your dog is a little taller, and you are trying to hit him with your belly button. Your back is to what you’re protecting (the food) your front is towards what you’re saying “no” to (Fido).  Remember, you aren’t backing your dog off into the next county – merely putting some distance between your food on the floor and your dog. So what does cheese on the floor have to do with your dog barking at the mailman, garbage truck, grilled cheese sandwich?  Everything. You’ve now learned how to tell a dog “no” in a way that they understand.  Without anger.  Without yelling.  You’re ready to answer any question your dog throws your way.  You simply use the same body language. If my Sparta starts barking out the window at “something”, I insert myself between her and the window and back her off.  She may run to the other window and start barking, so I claim that window as well.  After a short time, she turns around, walks away and gives up.  If she starts barking at me to give her part of my sandwich, I merely stand up and back her off of my personal space, answering the question each and every time she asks it.  This is what we refer to as Piloting your dog.  Every time you answer a dog’s question without anger and, well, nobody dies, the more faith they have that you have the answer to the next question, and the next question.  Piloting is a huge piggy bank: whomever has the most money wins.  You can take money out of your dog’s bank by answering questions in a calm, but firm manner.  That money starts to add up and snowball.  Pretty soon, you have a lot of money in your bank.  Now Sparta looks out the window, starts to bark, but then looks at me.  I’m not barking, so she decides that’s the route to go.  She started off as being the dog who gives the orders, the one everyone should follow.  After Piloting her for a bit, and taking all her money out of her Piloting bank, pretty soon she wants to be like me, and do whatever I’m doing.  I’m the cool kid everyone wants to be like (or at least my dogs, anyway). Now, let’s make this even simpler.  Do you really want to have to stand up every time you have to answer a question?  Yeah, neither do I.  So let’s use a substitute for the body language.  After you’ve mastered the body language (read: their language) you’re ready to start teaching them your language.  While you’re walking into them using the body language, you can repeat the same command over and over. When you stop using the body language, stop using the word.  I use the word “off”, but “no” can be used, too.  Just remember, one word for one command.  It’s not no barking, stop jumping, off the couch.  Those are all answered with the same body language, so they all need to be linked with the same word.  Pretty soon you can replace the body language completely with the word.  So now if Sparta starts barking out the window, I simply say “off” and she immediately stops.  However, if she doesn’t, then I am instantly off the couch using my body language. So think of it like this:  your words are like a credit card: a convenience.  Your credit is worth what it has to back it up… it merely stands in for something else: cash.  Cash money is your body language.  Cash is accepted everywhere.   So if your dog won’t accept your credit card, go for the body language/cash. Just remember, your dog is indeed asking you important questions when they are barking.  Make sure you answer them, don’t just remove them from the situation.  The basis of the PAW Method of training is answering your dog’s questions.  The more you answer, the less they start asking, and pretty soon you have a calm, happy, quiet lunch of grilled cheese, with a dog snoring silently at your feet. Kerry Stack Darwin Dogs Dog Training, Differently

Stay just a little bit longer Please please please please please tell me that you’re gonna - The Four Seasons So you’ve worked hard at recall ("come" command) with your dog.  Now what?  How about the “stay” command? If you go about it like most people do, you’ll put your dog into a sit, slowly back off of them, saying “stay, stay, stay”, then crouch down, and call them, giving them a treat when they get to you. Um, yeah… Remember, you’re trying to catch a behavior and reward it with positive reinforcement.  So let’s start at the very beginning.  A very good place to start. Remember the two steps to working with a dog: Control Yourself.  Don’t be angry, don’t be frustrated.  Be calm.  If you can’t be calm, then be gone and try again later. Control the Situation.  Don’t add energy to a situation you don’t already have control of. Okay, now, you’re ready to go.  Or stay.  Whatever. Get ready to start to Answer Your Dog's Questions. “Can I get up yet?”. Not yet, Fido. We will be using positive reinforcement in this situation because we are asking a dog to do something human: learn a new language.  Of course your dog already knows how to stay.  So does an elephant, or any other animal. What we are teaching Fido how to do is link a word with a behavior.  Any word will do, be it “stay” or “Bananarama”. The trick is to link it to the precise behavior you want, which is for your dog to stay in place. So let’s take another look at what you did. You started off well, putting your dog in a sitting, calm position.  You then calmly repeated the word “stay, stay, stay”, as you slowly backed off your dog, adding as little energy as you could, making sure you “nailed” your dog to that spot with your eyes and your finger as you back away from your dog. Listen to your Uncle Sam. He’s got it right. ....And then you derailed the whole thing by calling your dog and rewarding him when he came to you, telling him he was “Good stay!  You’re such a good boy…good stay Fido, good stay”.  Um, You’re trying to catch the behavior of “stay”, not “come”.  Now your dog is confused.  Stay and come have become entwined.  Remember, one word for one action.  ”Come” means moving towards you.  ”Stay” means not moving at all.  But you just mixed them up for your dog. Nice job, Ray. You crossed the streams. So instead of calling them, after you’ve taken a few steps away from them, as you’re repeating “stay, stay, stay” ad nauseum, simply start calmly and slowly moving towards them again, finger out Uncle Sam-style.  When you get to them, give them a reward.  Your dog should not have moved a single muscle, staying glued to the floor the entire time.  That’s how you catch a behavior. So, you did it once or twice, merely taking a few steps away from your dog, while remaining in eyesight the entire time.  You’ve controlled the present situation (as in Step 2 outlined above).  Now you’re ready to add more stimulation:  stay command out of sight. So you put your dog in a sit, Uncle Sam him (I always tell my clients to pretend your index finger is a squirt gun full of holy water and you aim to exorcise your demon-dog, right between their eyeballs) ... and then leave the room, go outside, and take a jog around the block... Of course your dog didn’t stay!  You added too much stimulation.  Take baby steps…progress, not perfection.  The first time you go out of the line of vision of your dog (maybe around a corner for just an instant), you will still be repeating the word “stay”, calmly, over and over again.  You will only pop out of sight for just a brief moment.  Your dog stays as you walk back. You reward.  All is right with the universe. Gradually add more and more to the amount of time you disappear from sight.  Gradually repeat “stay” less and less.  If the first time you repeated it 15 times during the exercise, the next time, try for 14.  If Fido gets up, go back to 15 times for the next round, and then try 14 again.  And then 12.  And pretty soon you’re down to once or twice. So how long does it take until your dog “gets” it? Well, look at it like this.  I’m currently learning Spanish.  Ten minutes after I do one of my language exercises, I can remember almost 100% of the vocabulary words  Two hours later, maybe 90%.  The next day, 50%.  That’s why I practice a lot  Your dog is learning not only a new language, but a new way of communicating.  Dogs aren’t based on vocal communications like we are.  They don’t easily understand inflection or tonality variants from human-to-human. Dogs are based on body language.  So cut them some slack, and don’t get angry when they’re being “stubborn”.  They’re doing the best they can learning an entirely different form of communication.  Give them some help:  frequent micro-training sessions of less than a minute.  Praise and rewards for getting it right.  And the well-earned gift of your patience.  Because that’s were true staying power comes from. Kerry Stack Darwin Dogs Dog Training, Differently

Happiness is not a matter of intensity but of balance, order, rhythm and harmony. – Thomas Merton We all want to do what’s right for the ones we love.  We show them how much we care about them through many various actions.  It just feels good to give them what they want.  But unfortunately, what they want isn’t always what they need.  Children require negatives sometimes.  No, you can’t have ice-cream for dinner.  No, you don’t need to be afraid of a thunderstorm.  The same goes for our dogs. As previously mentioned, dogs ask a lot of questions themselves:  Can I eat this?  Is the mailman going to kill us?  Can I sleep on the couch?  Some of the answers are an obvious “no” and require a negative answer. People confuse negative reinforcement with pain, wrath and punishment.  Do you live in a purple house?  You probably (hopefully) answered “no”.  That’s a negative answer.  Were you angry or wrathful when the answer was given?  Nope.  It was just a statement of fact.  You respected me enough to answer a question I asked.  Now let’s have enough respect for our dogs to answer their questions as well.  And believe me, dogs have a lot of questions. For example, I just fed my cat, Echo, his wet food.  Orion and Echo seem to have this merry little war between them (that apparently only Orion knows about).  One of Orion’s questions this morning was: Can I eat Echo’s food?  There is no way to put a positive spin on this answer.  The answer is “no”, an I will most definitely give it him.  Once he’s accepted the answer to his question, I’m done.  No punishment.  No fury. No anger.  It was a completely legitimate question that needed an answer, so I gave it to him. The more questions I answer for Orion in a calm manner, the more money I get in my Piloting Piggy Bank, and remember, whomever has the most money is the Pilot.  Every time you answer a question, you are taking money out of your dog’s account and putting it into your piggy bank.  He gets used to the fact that no does indeed mean no, but he also gets used to the fact that “no” isn’t accompanied by threats, violence, yelling or frustration.  It’s just the opposite of “yes”. Answering your dog’s questions are what makes you Pilot, especially when the answer is “no”.  Think about the times you need to tell your dog “no”.  Can I jump on you?  Is the person at the front door going to hurt us?  Should I be afraid at the vet?  All of those are “no” answers, but more importantly, they are integral ”no” answers.  No amount of positives is going to soothe a dogs when they are afraid at the vet’s office.  Their question was: ”Is this guy in the white coat going to kill me?”,  not “Can I have a biscuit?”.  Yes, you can indeed get your dog distracted for a little bit at the vet’s office with a treat, but how long does that last?  Not very.  The answer they are looking for is “No, the vet isn’t going to hurt you.”  Please give it to them.  Don’t circumvent the answer by what feels good to you:  avoiding the question entirely. The thing about negatives is that when you are answering your dog’s questions, they make your dog feel safer.  They make your dog feel as if you have control of their chaotic world.  A dog who’s questions aren’t answered make me think of how much I hate driving in the dark during heavy rain.  Especially if there aren’t any street lights.  All you want to see is the road markers; where you shouldn’t go, and where you should be.  It’s the same with your dog:  they want to see where they should be instead of floundering all over the place asking questions that never get an answer. So, how do you tell a dog “no”?  Simple:  calmly.  You can read more here about the actual techniques I use, but it all starts with calm. I’ve seen a lot of people go pretty far out of their way to avoid giving a simple “no” answer, as if the very word were evil.  I had a woman recently whose dog would bite at your fingers while you tried to give the dog a treat.  Another trainers response?  Drop the food on the floor so you don’t get bit!  Why not just answer the dog’s question (“Can I be rude?”) with the appropriate answer, which is “no”?!  Needless to say, through no fault of her own, the dog had become a biting mess, fully expecting everything thing it wished.  Again, 100% positive answers do not work with children, and does not work with dogs. Now, here’s the thing about positive reinforcement:  the more you answer your dog’s negative questions, the more often you are able to give positives to them.  For example, as I’m writing this blog post, Echo’s food is still on the floor, and Orion is hyper about it.  So Orion and I had a “conversation”: Hey, mom!  Can I eat Echo’s food?  He doesn’t look like he wants it! No, you may not, Orion. How about now? No, you may not Orion. Ok.  Hey mom, can I be hyper about not getting Echo’s food? No you may not Orion. Ok. Just thought I'd check. Orion accepted the answer about Echo’s food, but I could tell it was difficult for him.  Calm is what he needed, so I put him into a stay on his mat.  He’s been there about 20 minutes now.  After about the first 5 minutes, he stopped asking me if he could get up now (of course the answer was “no”).  When he dropped his head on his paws and completely relaxed, I was able to start giving him positives. Hey, mom, am I supposed to be chilled out over here? Yes, Orion.  Good dog. Zzzzzzzzzzzz…. Good dog, Orion. Every few moments I’m looking over at him and giving him a gentle word of praise, as in, yes, you are on the right path, Orion.  This is indeed what you should be doing.  That feels good to me, because I like giving him positives.  And now that this blog post is done, Orion and I are going to do some agility, and it sounds like this: Hey Mom?  Am I supposed to go over? Yes!  Great job!!!!! Hey Mom?  Am I supposed to go under? Yes!  Awesome!!! Hey Mom?  Am I supposed to go through? No.  Try again! Ooops!  I got it now.  I’m supposed to go back under? Yes, Orion!!!!!!  You’re such a good boy!!!!! Thanks for answering my question, Mom! Kerry Stack Darwin Dogs Dog Training, Differently

Knowing others is wisdom, knowing yourself is Enlightenment. - Lao Tzu Nail cutting time.  My favorite. If given the choice between cutting Sparta’s nails and skipping voting this year…I’m going to still fucking vote!!! Are you crazy?! Register! Seriously, though, there’s nothing I hate more than cutting Sparta’s nails.  Her nails are black. I’ll admit, I was even terrified to cut my kids’ nails when they were little.  Unfortunately, I had a bad experience with my first dog, Darwin.  He had black nails as well, and the first time I tried to cut his nails, I cut a little too deeply. It was awful, and it scarred me forever.  Looking back, I barely nicked him, and literally a drop of blood came out, but still, I was traumatized for life.  So for the rest of Darwin’s life, he went to get his nails trimmed at a groomer. Same thing with Orion and Sparta.  Now here’s the problem, though.  I have plenty of clients who would tell me that their dog was terrible about getting their nails trimmed, getting all Cujo on them.  They would ask while I was there if I could show them how to do it safely.  Sure thing! I would Pilot the dog, moving slowly, but confidently. I would take the clippers in my hand, continuing to maintain calm.  I take the dog’s paw in my hand, position the clippers on the dog’s nail… “And then you cut”, I would say. But here’s the rub. I never would actually cut the nail myself because I was terrified.  In my mind, my rationale was that my clients weren’t having problems cutting the nail, it was cutting the nail without being shredded by their dog that was the issue. I didn’t want to project my on neurosis onto them, so I faked it.  My clients would always take the clippers from me, Pilot their dogs as I had just shown them, and then actually cut the dog’s nails.  Voila!  Mission accomplished. However, something about it didn’t sit right with me.  Yes, technically I solved their problem, and they were happily cutting away at their dog’s nails, but I felt awful that I couldn’t make that leap myself.  So a few months ago, I became determined to do it. I grabbed my clippers and had Sparta in a down position on my floor.  I grabbed my clippers and headed towards her holding her paw out. Yeah…she kinda sensed there was a slight problem. Now here’s the thing: I have Piloted Sparta through some pretty terrible things.  For example, when she was 11 months old,she tore her ACL.  The examination by her vet was pretty rough and painful.  Her vet took her leg, and gently moved it, causing Sparta to jump up in pain, swing around, and pretty much ask if she could bite the vet. My answer was “no”. Remember, Sparta was in pain, and she was asking if she could hurt the vet to make him stop hurting her.  I obviously knew that the exam was indeed necessary to help her heal.  Yes, it hurt my heart to tell her that the vet was allowed to hurt her, but she accepted my answer.  Because I accepted my answer. I had complete faith and trust in my answer, and was able to convey that to her.  She calmed down, accepted the exam, and was set on the road to recovery. But this was different.  I was still terrified of hurting her.  And she knew it.  I was acting differently. We’ve secretly replaced your regular Pilot with Nervous, Shaking, Train-Wreck Pilot.  Let's see if Sparta notices. Oh, yes, she figured it out right quickly, but I kept pushing on, ignoring the body language she was giving me. I had neglected to adhere to my own training rules: 1) Control yourself; and 2) Control the situation. But I was plodding along like a dolt, ignoring the fact that Sparta was absolutely terrified.  Suddenly I realized what was happening.  Sparta was actually going to bite me, and I had been ignoring all of her body language that was absolutely screaming at me to stop what I was doing.  She wasn’t being willful nor disobedient; she was simply scared.  She was telling me with her body the equivalent of, “Don’t make me shoot, ’cause I will”. I’ve always been cautious about knowing your physical limitations when it comes to Piloting your dog, but mental limitations are a real thing, too.  And I suddenly realized that I was forcing a situation without having control of myself, let alone the situation.  That I had come *this close* to Sparta biting me, all because I kept pushing through a situation without taking the temperature of the situation. So I stopped.  I put down Sparta’s paw and dropped the clippers.  Instead, we played a game.  The “I’m Not Clipping Your Nails” game, meaning she started to get positives for being calm (learn about positive reinforcement here).  It started with me taking Sparta’s paw, with the clippers still on the ground in front of us. I would pinch her nail gently between my fingers, and then immediately give her a treat (frozen green beans – her favorite).  Pretty soon when I started to grab her paw, she would immediately look to the green beans, anticipating the Good Thing that was to come. Next, I would take her paw in my hand, gently tap her paw with the clippers, and then give her a treat.  Sometimes I would just pick up the clippers, put them back down again, and give her a treat.  Soon, all things regarding the clipper were a Good Thing.  Finally, after a few days of this, I was ready.  I picked up her paw, did our usual game, but at this point both of us were condition to the clippers being No Big Deal.  I wasn’t a nervous wreck anymore. I was ready to cut.  Not trim her nail to where it should be, but just cut.  Such a small cut, that it really made no difference in the scheme of things except that I had just cut her nail. And nobody died.  Nobody got bit.  Nobody was terrified.  And Sparta was looking immediately at the bowl of green beans, waiting for her treat for playing the I”m Not Cutting Your Nails Game. It had actually happened, though.  There was a little teeny-tiny piece of nail on the ground, proving we had done.  I didn’t stop there, but, more importantly, I didn’t push forward.  In other words, I continued our usual game of tapping her nails with my fingers, and generally messing around with her, but that day I only cut that tiny little piece of nail.  But I had done it. Each day, we would do one more nail.  Sometimes two.  Just a little bit.  Now when I grab the nail trimmers, I usually feel comfortable enough to do all of her nails.  If I spend a little too long holding her paw while trying to determine how short I can cut the nail, I stop, put her paw down, give her a treat, and then resume the examination.  Things were going beautifully. Until this past week when I realized that yes, I could cut her nails without drama now, but I was still being ineffectual.  They were growing faster than I could safely (in my mind) cut them.  I felt like a failure.  What was the point of this exercise, anyway?! The point is twofold. 1) I re-learned how to control myself in a scary situation.  Piloting does indeed require a uniform.  Confidence. By making Sparta feel I had control, she felt safe enough to continue with The Scary Thing.  And the by-product was that the more I wore my Piloting uniform, the more confident I became. 2) I prepared Sparta for the groomer.  She will be getting her nails cut by a groomer, just like my other dogs, only this won’t be a new sensation for her. I’m sure she will look for a treat as her nails are getting done rather than for an escape route (or even worse, making her own escape route!).  But the difference now is that I know I can do it. Yes, I will be trusting a better Nail Pilot to cut her nails, but remember: Piloting is a contest,however, we all want who ever is best to win. Mariah at Pet’s General is a much better Nail Pilot/Grooming Pilot than I could ever be. I will give it up to the professionals, but knowing full well that if it ever came to it, I could do it. With a little more time…and green beans. Kerry Stack Darwin Dogs Dog Training, Differently